I smell it

Stars are a twinkling outside... this time of the year is a time for all northern (ish) states to start waking up.  As much as it would be wonderful to live in a forever warm climate,  I think I'd miss some of the anticipation for beautiful weather. 

I really really enjoy walking out the door without a pile of coat/hat/scarf etc.   The smell of fresh, damp earth, and warm wind make my windows come up.  In the summer, sitting on the porch at twilight, listening to cicadas showing off their sounds, is one of the most satisfying ways to end the day.  And when spring finally comes, though at first it might decide to be all moody and hail  (like today), I'll probably decide to fondly remember winter.   :)

 

Needing some COLOR

Working holidays [I work at a country club] can be okay, but only when  people go away when they're supposed to.   

Note of frustration: Your cold cup of coffee is going to stay cold.  No more refills for you. Please remove yourself from the chair, get into your Mercedes and let us, your penguin servers, have a holiday as well.

Lesson learned today:  notice others. 

But also, I think I have a new friend from today:  Her name is Kara. 

Katharine Hepburn says: Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get...only with what you are expecting to give... which is everything.  

--kinda hard without Jesus--

Corny [but sincere]

Wrote this a while ago

...
you are
...
in everyday sprinklings
that make. life. halt
and i listen-
usually not hearing

but

a certain yearning
a burst of awakening
you take the words out of me
and put back joy.

i think i should like to race out and find
handfuls of perfect wildflowers
to present you at your doorstep.
how can i grab those snatches
and pin them to my heart-

to stay- always to stay?

lovely presence,
you are what holds me
together

Different sounds around me: the clock's tick, the dryer, faint voices from another room. (and also my 18 year old brother's clear voice in search of food.)

The curtains are shutting out a cloudy day.
And laundry waiting at my feet in a jumble mess.

As I was driving back from Lafeyette this morning, a special program was on for good Friday. Different voices were acting out Luke chapters 22 and 23.
These few verses, in the context of Jesus being led away to be crucified, were loud...

"...and women who also mourned and lamented Him. But Jeseus, turning to them, said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for yourselves and for your children. For indeed the days are coming in which they will say, 'Blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore, and breats which never nursed!' Then they will begin 'to say to the mountains, "Fall on us!" and to the hills, "Cover us!" For if they do these things in the green wood, what will be done in the dry?
[Luke 23: 28-31]

I'm not sure I know what he's saying.

Megan gets back in three days. I'm just about 22 years old. Goodfellas. I found a good country- side think spot when the need arises. I wish Indiana had less Indiana in it. I'm also on a quest for a good solid bike, one that'll last. Craving cheese. And I really love my sister, who cuddles with me in bed.

Five months later...

I think part of my problem is that a computer screen scares me. I am a veteran of pen and paper, and have been "journaling" since 1995. But the stack of notebooks have only been for me... and now trying to write for whoever might click upon this site might be where I am tripping up.

But I enjoy reading others words and thoughts, and I'd now like to be on the giving and not just receiving end. To write without critic and self-consciousness, to write what is real and not all dreams is a good idea, and one that might be hard. Because, God forbid, anyone actually get to know me...! I was always bad at brainstorming in school; spewing out the first middle and last idea, without any extra caution or 'yea THAT would never happen, wasn't how my brain liked to work. I would always like to think things through, and maybe too much. Hereditary props to my dad for giving me this personality trait :)

So all this to say that I'm gonna write publically now, whether anyone reads or not. And that it will sometimes be as logical or sensical (new word?) as a middle school english brainstorm assignment. But that's okay.